Oh Hello There!

Well. Hi there! :-) It's been a while.

I really thought that I'll celebrate an anniversary of me not having a job. Well, I got lucky. Someone trusted me and gave me a job. :-) Am so really thankful to them, that me, even without an experience would be given a chance. So yeah. I got a job; still in Information Security. I got lucky.

Now everything seems to be going in place.

I had a baby. A beautiful baby boy! I didn't believe this one before BUT, now I can tell, them babies, they make you stronger. Every time I hug him, every time he looks at me, every time he smiles, I feel stronger. All the depression / stress were gone for a moment, if not at all. Babies really are an inspiration. He's 4 months now.

It's been a long time since I got the strength to write something. All I can say is that it's been a hell of a ride this past year.  A chapter of my life ends, another chapter, another ride begins.

All I say this: them past two months---I am happy.

So now the challenge is--To make this last longer, if not forever.

Hi there again, world.

“...I wonder when I sing along with you if everything could ever feel this real forever; If anything could ever be this good again.

The only thing I’ll ever ask of you: You gotta promise not to stop...”

— Everlong, Foo Fighters

greetings

“May you have a happy Christmas and a very prosperous New Year!”

I Am In A Brink of Depression until I Watched This Video

I am still jobless and every passing day makes me go nearer in depression. And then, I watched this video from upworthy website. As I watched, I become more inspired and motivated (for now I guess). 

Here is a man who is homeless, without someone to lean on to and yet still so positive in life. He's so restless in believing that something positive will come. And there it is, something happened; someone had given him opportunity and he turned from homeless into Software Developer.

I hope he'll be in right track and make something out of this. And finally find a place he can call home.

As for me, this person makes me believe that there's always hope. There's always positive / opportunities that will come out from somewhere. Just work hard and believe, it'll come. Not now, but maybe tomorrow.

One thing's for sure: I was showered by this man's inner peace.

“Faith, Prayer. It works. Try it.”

— Leo

[Ponder] : I'm Settling with Fuji

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Why The Face?

I've decided to shoot exclusively using my Fuji camera (X-E1 to be exact). I've already sold my 5D Mark II and I've given my Lumix LX5 to my wife. ^_^

It was so much lighter and easy to carry compared to my 5dMark2. I'm amused by its retro-looks and very simple design. And of course, the quality of images are veeery goood. Very comparable to my DSLR [5dmk2].

I'll be waiting for that 2nd full version of Fuji X-Pro (X-Pro2, X-ProS) though. I think its size is perfect for the Fuji lens compared to other smaller X-Series camera that has been released.

But of course, I need to get a job first. My wife will kill me, and I would probably kill myself too if I buy one without getting a source of income first. LOL.

Oooh Happy thoughts.

Looking forward for more good quality photos from this camera.

About the picture above: I don't know her. Haha!

I Am Redundant

Did it happen to you?  That even you somehow kind of expecting something, and you know it is just a matter of time that it will happen; and then.. Bam! That something happened. And you would still somehow felt surprise.  Still felt uneasy.

BAM!

It happened to me. Even before, a year ago, I knew it was coming. My tasks were always changing. The current projects were suddenly be stopped. And I felt that we are just looking for projects/tasks to do. Then two months ago... A meeting notification was sent. After 30min, Tadaaa... We were redundant. Yeah 'we'. The whole floor was deserted. All was done. We are all smiling back then. It is as if we're all expecting it. It seems everything was fine.

At that time. My head was all cheers and saying everything will be okay. All the severance pay that I'lll get will make everything normal. It will be easy to get another job.

OUCH!

Oh boy I am wrong.

Here I am, two months have passed. I am smiling and all but deep inside there's a worrying feeling. I am, troubled.  I have made several applications but no progress. And adding the fact that me and my wife are expecting our first born. And the hardest part to see is that she's the one who is working. She's the one providing. I am not providing anything. I am a burden.

There are "what ifs" and "I should haves", all running inside my head. And the more I think of it, the more I feel down. Self-pity comes in. All blaming myself. I am silly! I thought these would be easy.

I am..

Useless.

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Never give up. Be strong. Stand tall.

YEAH!

But there's also this realization. If I would stay this way, being down and all, and this self-pity stuff, nothing will change. It won't change me being jobless. It won't change me not being able to provide for my family.

There's no one that will put away these feelings but me. There's no one that will solve all these problems but me. 

I should put aside this worrying, this uneasiness and this self-pity. And stop all this whining.

I should stand tall and be strong. Never dwell on rejections. Improve myself. Get a job and provide. 

HMM!

Now. stop.

Start acting

Here, It's yours.

“This heart, it beats. Beats for only you. My heart is yours.”

— Paramore

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^{Thanks for my wife for lending me her hand =)}

Macquarie Lighthouse

December last year, our friend from Melbourne went here in Sydney for a company sponsored training. He's a photo enthusiast and was interested in landscape photography so we have toured him to cool beautiful places here in Sydney. This was our first stop, the Macquarie Lighthouse, it said to be Australia's first and longest operating navigational light. ¹

The place was serene. You can feel the history / nostalgia of the lighthouse. Beautiful, beautiful place.  

Along the tour, he found out that he forgot his graduated filter. The filter he specifically bought for this visit . It was funny seeing his face when he grumbled about that. His face looks like he had just misplaced a good amount of money and no one he can blame but himself. LOL. And when he is about to forget it... I'd always remind him by looking at his recent snap and say: "Hmm.. what would it look like if there's graduated filter on it. Maybe its better". He'll look at me, smile and say "You evil". LOL. Oh well, so bully me. But It's all good.

The tour was a lot of fun. Getting to see your old friends again couldn't be much better :-)

1. http://www.lighthouse.net.au/lights/nsw/Macquarie/Macquarie.htm

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^{All shots taken using 5d Mark II with 50mm 1.8 and 28mm 1.8 lens}

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